*ANTI RACIST HUMOUR. - What is the definition of 'confused and agitated'? A white supremacist watching the men's Olympic 100 metres final. - What do you call a bigot who does well in an IQ -*test*-('")? A cheat. - Why is a racist like a drunk? Because everything he says ends in a slur. - Why is a racist like a dog? They both mark out their territory by spraying walls - and always with something offensive. - Why do racists always hang around in gangs? So that they can form a dope ring. - Why DIDN'T the racist cross the road? Because she was afraid of seeing the other side. - Why couldn't the racist get work as a doctor? Because every time he felt bad about himself, he'd try to put someone down. - Have you heard about the racist who choked on his yoghurt? Someone told him that it grew out of a foreign culture. - Why is a racist like a 'Neighbours' scriptwriter? Because they are both involved in character assassination. - Why did the racist punch-out the sophisticated immigrants? Because if you can't join them, beat them. - Have you heard about the racist who was terrified of getting culture shock? That's why she only attacked people without power. - Why is a racist like a drug runner? Because they are both terrified of foreign customs. - Did you hear about the racist who was invited to address the recycling conference? He had a lot of experience in talking rubbish.

Boo

Nuff said

Fission or Fusion A stranger was seated next to a little girl on an airplane when he turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?" Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," she said.. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea," To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?" ******************************************************************************** Important Decision A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. A doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness, that's good. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a very serious pile-up on the motorway. But you're going to be OK, you'll walk again, you'll do everything as before, but something did happen. Look, I'm trying to break this to you as gently as possible, you see, your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it." Of course the bloke groans a bit, but the doctor goes on "But it's going to be alright. We have the technology now to build you a new one that will work just as well as your old one did - better in fact. But the thing is, this operation doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand pounds an inch". The bloke perks up at this, even though it's a thousand pounds an inch. "So the thing is," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher now, well, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time she might be disappointed. So it's very important that she plays a role So the bloke agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. "So" says the doctor, "Have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have" says the fellow. "And did she help you in making the decision?" "Yes she did" says the bloke. And what is it?" asks the doctor. "We're having a new kitchen."